Ann and Larie One Word One Shots
by lolzwaitwhat
Summary: this is something I've seen on here a lot and I wanted to give this a try. Ann and Larie one shots. (Warning! These are based off of my An, Ann n Anny High School fic universe, if you have not read it and have questions, I will be happy to answer them)
1. Words

**Vocabulary**

.

Ann was a human dictionary, yet found that it was often that Larie was able to find the best words to sum up their situations. Like now, at three in the morning when they looked at the huge hole in one of the van's tires, Ann hyperventilating and holding her pregnant belly, their sons still in bed.

"Shit."

.

**Thanks**

.

Fifteen-year-old Mildred Kanker sat on the doorstep in her violet gown, tears and mascara streaming down her face, "I can't believe he stood me up! Now who am I gonna go with to the dance?"

She heard a whistle and saw her father pull up in her mother's van, the door opening up to her best friend, Max, holding out a flower and a hanky and smiling nervously. She smiled and hopped in to the van, when she got to the dance, she gave her father a kiss before she left the van, "Thank you, Father."

He then leaned out the window, pointed to Max and shouted,

"You make my little girl cry and I'll roast your nuts with a flamethrower and nail em to your front door!"

.

**Keys**

.

He burst into the kitchen while the nine of them were eating breakfast and shouted, "WHICH ONE OF YOU KANKER BASTARDS BLEW UP MY CAR!?"

He glared at Allbert, who was sitting with his pregnant wife and feeding his infant daughter, "As much as I would have liked to, I'm afraid my family and I are innocent in this." Allbert coolly replied.

He glared at Larry and Terry, who looked disappointed, "We were going to put that in this afternoon." Larry said with a pout. "But it looks like someone else beat us to the punch." Terry observed, put out that someone got to him first.

He glared at Emma, who rolled her eyes and said, "I don't need a _bomb_ to get back at you for standing Milly up."

He then glared at Larie, who simply smiled impishly, then shrugged as he replied, "Too busy trying to decide what I'd skin you with."

He turned to look at Mildred, only for a different, mischievous gap toothed smile to catch his eye.

She got up, walked over and picked up a set of keys from the kitchen counter and dropped them into his hand, making her whole family light up with amusement as Ann calmly told him,

"I believe these are yours."

.

**Racing**

.

A pregnant Ann shook her head at her husband as they walked to their van, Allbert holding her hand and Larry and Terry in Larie's arms. All of them were covered in destroyed fruit.

"We were just racing!" Larie said.

"You were running around like a mad man with our children in a grocery cart!" Ann corrected snappishly.

"Tee and Jay were doing it with their kids too!"

"So that justifies us being banned from _another_ grocery store?"

"Not my fault that they put that giant pyramid of random fruits in the middle of the aisle."

.

**Nap**

.

Larie came home from work, frustrated, he had just learned that they would cut back one of his classes next semester, and less classes meant less money for his family. He dropped his stuff in the family room and was going to go to the basement and beat his punching bag to a pulp when he saw a tired Ann holding their sleeping two-year-old son in her arms on the couch.

She glanced up at him, gave him a sweet gap-toothed smile and put her fingers to her lips. Larie felt the stress and anger wash away a bit as he slipped beside her and watched as she soon succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep with her head on his shoulder. Larie relaxed into the couch and gently leaned his head against hers as he closed his eyes.

Sometimes a good nap was just what was needed to make a day a little better.

.

**Panties**

.

Larie sat next to his eldest on his bed, "Come on, All, it probably wasn't _that_ bad."

Allbert looked up at his father with frustrated tears in his eyes as he pulled a pair of purple and white striped panties out of his pocket and held it up for his inspection.

"I was halfway home when I finally discovered this in my pocket!" he cried, ashamed of his actions, "I don't even know how I removed them without either of us realizing it!"

"Wait, how do you know these are hers?" Larie asked. Allbert flushed and awkwardly rubbed his arm with his panty free hand, "I don't want to talk about it."

.

**Behavior**

.

"Lawrence and Terrance Kanker are the most ill-behaved children I've ever taught in my entire fifty years of teaching!" the old woman exclaimed angrily, "They hardly listen to reason and are constantly up to no good, they're always running around like it's recess and constantly interrupting me!"

"You do realize that they're in kindergarten, right?" Larie asked her.

"That's no excuse!" the woman said with a scowl.

"Pardon me, Miss Fellow, but why exactly did you summon us here?" Ann asked politely, but some irritation managed to seep through despite her best efforts.

"I believe that their behavioral problems start at home and have written up a list of ways for you to be able to cut back on their mischief." Miss Fellow handed the two a heavy stack of papers.

Ann staggered under the weight, even though Larie was holding most of it, Larie then picked up one of the pages and his eyes widened in shock, "Does this say _castration_?" he asked, horrified. Ann looked over at the page he was reading and looked up at the woman, appalled at her suggestions. "_Have you lost your mind_?" Ann cried, "Most of these are either medieval torture methods or forms of mutilation!"

"I admit, the methods are crude, but they're also _effective_." She said coolly, she then motioned for them to leave, "I'll expect the boys behavior to improve by next week, you may leave now."

Ann and Larie left the classroom, fuming, and dropped the papers onto the window of the front office before going home, where Luca was watching Allbert, Larry, Terry and Mildred.

Larry and Terry looked up at their parents, "Well?" they asked in unison.

"You were right, she's a psycho." Larie said, then smiled, "You know what that means…!"

"TOILET PAPER AND SHAVING CREAM BOMBS!" they cried cheerfully.

"And that you get to invite all your friends and cousins to join you too." Ann added. Their children ran inside cheering and Luca looked up at them expectantly, "Yes Luca, you're invited too." Ann said with a smile and a sigh.

"WOOHOO! I'LL GET THE BATS!" he cried, following the kids into the house.

Larie proudly wrapped his arm around his wife, "Larie, should we be concerned that we're allowing our children to do such petty things in an attempt to get back at unpleasant people?" Ann asked him.

"She told us to cut off our boys' junk just because they're hyper little boys."

"Valid point. BOYS! DON'T FORGET THE SPIDERS!"

.

**Art**.

.

She groaned as she came through the door, lugging the heavy portfolio with her drawing pad and supplies inside, wishing she had taken a music appreciation class instead of a drawing course for her art credit. She thought it would be fun, but she had to lug this big thing around and her instructor would tell her every time she brought something in that it had 'no feeling' and that her work was 'cold'. She had been told that she should draw something she loved, that maybe she might make her piece worth putting up on the wall for others to see. However, most of the things she loved were considered 'emotionless' by the instructor.

Then she saw Larie sleeping on the couch with a book open on his chest and she smiled and pulled out her sketch pad.

.

**Critique **

.

Larie walked through the art wing, he saw plenty of his own pieces on the walls, which made him a little proud, but his best ones were the ones he did of Ann when she still was asleep, and he kept those to himself. He shook his head, he was here to find someone else's work.

He stopped at a sketch near the end of the hall, where there were no doors, just space to display student work, he flushed and smiled proudly.

On the page was a young man sleeping on a couch with a book lying on his stomach, his bangs covering his left eye and a small smile on his face as woman with long dark hair was leaning over and kissing his forehead, on the bottom right side corner was her name written in her perfect cursive.

"So, what do you think?" she asked him as she walked to his side.

"It'd be better if we were naked." He said critically, "and if we were having sex."

Ann shook her head, "I'll keep that in mind, Larie."

.

**Headache**

.

They were sitting in bed when Ann took the medicine to rid herself of a horrible headache that had been bothering her for hours, Larie was reading his Karma Sutra book for the upteenth time, trying to decide which technique he should try once she felt better.

Ann smiled as she discovered that her head was no longer pounding. "Wow, this medication works wonders!" she cried happily, "My headache is gone!"

Larie froze at that statement and his eyes got wide.

It was _his_ time.

He threw his book into his lamp, making his wife cry out, "Larie!" while it tipped over and crashed against the ground.

Ann turned on her own bedside lamp to find her husband's arms wrapped around her and his body laying on top of her own.

"Did you have to break the lamp?" she asked, exasperated.

He smirked, "Nope!" then turned out the lights.

Ann sighed, "What am I going to do with you?"

"I dunno, Muffin, but I can't wait to find out!"

Ann face-palmed.

.

**Blocked**

.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"MOTHER! FATHER!" terrified young voices cried outside their door.

"Dammit." Larie groaned.

They got up and walked to their door and opened it, finding all but their eldest child outside. Their daughters looking fearful while their brothers looked amused.

"You called?" Larie asked flatly, a little annoyed that they were interrupted, Ann, however, saw the fear bright in their daughters eyes and asked, "What's the matter?"

Mildred and Emma held each other as they trembled with terror, "There are scary noises coming out of Allbert's room." Mildred squeaked, Emma nodded fearfully in agreement.

"Yeah," Terry chuckled, "Real scary."

"Terrifying." Larry snickered in agreement.

That's when Ann and Larie heard the creaks, the moans, the panting and the female voice crying out "OH, _**ALLBERT**_!" Ann's eyes widened in horror, how long had their younger children been listening to this? Larie, however, was proud and a little amused at his eldest son's actions.

"That's my boy." He purred with a proud grin. Ann scowled at him, "Larie! This is serious!" she cried, pointing down the hallway to Allbert's room, "If this continues, we'll have to sound proof his room!"

They then heard the voice cry out, "AHHHHHHHH_HHHHHH!_" Larie's smirk grew even larger, "That's my boy." He repeated proudly, Ann rolled her eyes, annoyed.

Emma tugged at the skirt of her mother's night gown, eyes brimming with tears, "Mother, we're really scared, can we sleep with you and Father tonight? Please?" she asked. Ann smiled at her youngest, knelt down and held out her arms to her children, Emma rushed into her mother's arms, sobbing as Ann replied in a soft, comforting voice, "Of course you can, Sweetheart."

Larie stood there, stunned, as if to say 'What?' as his wife lead their daughters and twin boys into their bedroom and had them all hop into the middle of the bed and began tucking them in as she said, "Alright, everyone, lets get into bed and get some rest. Tomorrow is a school day, after all. So lets tuck you in!"

Larie stood there and said, "Did I just get cock blocked by my own kids?"

.

**Soundproof**

.

Larie laid in his very full bed, his daughters curled up in his arms while his twin sons were snuggled by their mother. And, although he thought it was sweet and cute how his children were cuddling up to them, he still turned to his wife and grumbled, "I'm soundproofing his room tomorrow."

"Don't you have work?" she murmured in response.

"I'll call in sick."

.

Author's end notes: hey guys, this was a little thing I wanted to try out, I've actually made comics of the last three little one shots on this chapter, so if you want to see them, go to deviant art and type in lolzwaitwhat, you'll find me.


	2. Words 2

**Poetry**

.

Fifteen-Year-Old Ann was gathering her textbooks and about to walk home from a tutoring session that had gone longer then she had thought when she noticed a note sticking out of her locker.

She looked at it, surprised she hadn't noticed it when she had opened her locker door and carefully pulled it free, curious as to what it said, although it was most likely another flyer for some school event that was coming up.

She carefully unfolded the note and read the messy scrawl on the page,

'_Roses are red._

_Violets are blue._

_Watch out, Muffin,_

_Cause I'm right behind you_.'

Ann stared at the note a moment, re-reading it before realizing what it meant. She then revved up to run away when she felt two familiar arms wrap around her waist and a deep voice murmur in her ear,

"Hiya Muffin."

.

**Alone**

.

Six-year-old Ann walked into her home after a fun day with her friends and called out, "Mother? Father? I'm home from the Museum!"

No answer.

It didn't surprise her, they hardly ever were home while she was awake, they got up early, went to work, and came home late. She knew they tried to be there for her as much as possible, but it didn't stop her eyes from stinging with tears a bit when she realized that she was, once again, all alone in her home.

However, today, her eyes didn't sting when she arrived home, she felt a little sad that they weren't here, but it was more that she'd had such a great day and that she wanted to tell them all about it.

About _him_.

She felt giddy as she thought about the blue-haired boy she had spent so much time with today at the museum. She smiled widely and clutched the hand he had held so tenderly close to her heart as she reeled from the fact that he had been so interested in what she had to say and had been so sweet to her, normally boys just made fun of her, but not this one.

Just remembering his smile or his laugh made her cheeks turn a rosy shade of pink and her heart pound wildly in her chest.

The only down side was that she didn't even know his name.

She frowned a bit at that fact, then shook her head, determined,

"I'll see him again."

She promised herself.

After all, it wasn't as if blue hair was a common trait for a person to have. She smiled as she glanced around her still empty house, wondering if, one day, she wouldn't come home and find herself alone.

Maybe, just maybe, she'd find that blue haired boy instead.

.

**Girls**

.

'Girls are gross.'

Girls had cooties and girls were always wanting to hug or kiss boys.

_But not her_.

She was happy just to hold his hand, which she assured him was clean before he even thought to ask.

'Girls are weird.'

Girls thought things like bugs were gross instead of cool and carried big purses full of useless stuff all the time.

_But not her._

She thought bugs were cool and she would pull out whatever she needed at the time from under her hat.

'Girls are cowards.'

Girls wouldn't stand up against a bully and could never be relied on to defend anything.

_But not her._

She stood up to a grown man and even made a flamethrower to protect him.

'Girls are stupid.'

Girls would always call boys stupid for asking questions and acting like they knew the answers even when they really didn't and… they just _were_, okay?

_But __**definitely**__ not her._

She would get excited when he asked her questions and happily answer them in great detail. And if he asked her a question that she didn't know the answer to, she would give him a sheepish gap-tooth grin and apologize for not knowing, but suggest a good way for them to find out.

'I'd _hate_ it if a girl ever kissed me.'

Kisses were gross and slimy and blech!

_But not hers._

Double-N's had left him feeling as if he was floating on the world's softest cloud, it made his heart race and his whole body feel as if it was wrapped in a nice, warm blanket.

It was soft and gentle and actually _meant something to him._

Larie Kanker gently touched the cheek she had kissed and smiled broadly, his cheeks pink and his heart racing just thinking about her.

Maybe girls weren't so bad after all.

.

**Smile**

.

It was strange to him that such a small thing like another person's smile could affect him so.

Maybe it was because hers was unique with that cute little gap and that it was so unlike any others he'd seen before.

.

**Blood**

.

Larie was used to it.

The sight, the smell, the taste, the feel of a small drop of blood sliding down the side of his face.

It didn't mean he liked it or whatever, but he was used to it.

But that's what happened when one got into a lot of fights.

He wasn't used to seeing his own though.

Especially from something as stupid as a piece of paper.

He hissed at the small, bleeding cut on his finger, but if he was hissing from pain or at his skin for being so easily cut, he didn't know.

He had no idea that she had seen him wince when he had gotten the worksheet that was for homework before the last bell rang.

He had no idea she had seen a small spot of red grow on his index finger as he hissed at it, his face scrunched with embarrassment over feeling pain from something so flimsy and simple.

He had no idea she had stayed behind until she had turned the chair in front of him around, sat down and put a first aid kit onto his desk.

He watched silently as she carefully took his finger, and pulled out what she needed from the box.

The only sound he made was a sharp intake of breath when she had gingerly cleaned it with a Q-tip, she gave him an apologetic look as she went onto put some Neosporin and a band-aid on it.

Then, to his surprise, she closed her eyes as gently rose it to her lips and delicately pressed his bandaged finger against them.

She then got up, surprised by her own actions, her face pink as she quickly gathered her things and then dashed out of the classroom, embarrassed.

Larie then sat there, face was now blood-red, with a large smile on his face as he looked at the rust colored kiss mark on his band-aid.

.

Author's End notes: I felt like doing more, okay? It's a nice challenge and it's fun.


	3. Words 3

**Smoke**

.

Ann angrily glared down at his collapsed form on the floor of their apartment, the joint he had been smoking now put out and being crushed in her clenched fist.

"Larie Kanker, if you ever even so much as _think_ about doing something like this _**ever again**__,_ I _assure_ you that you'll be sleeping on the _**couch**_ until we _**graduate**_!"

Larie never smoked marijuana or anything else ever again.

.

**Birds**

.

The question had been on his mind for a little while now, leading him to finally ask, "Why do you call me Turtle Dove?"

Ann stopped and turned to him, a small smile on her face,

"Larie, do you know what turtle doves represent?"

"The second day of Christmas?" he guessed with a shrug

She chuckled as she shook her head.

"Devoted love."

She informed him as she walked inside, leaving him standing outside her front porch, a smile growing on his face,

"Hot damn."

.

**Son**

.

Ann looked at her three boys then at the monstrosity on her kitchen counter where their coffee maker had once sat.

Her ten year old and her four year olds gave her big, toothy, but obviously guilty gap-toothed smiles as she looked back at them, looking at them as if to say, 'do you really expect me not to notice the difference?'

It was obvious that they had somehow either broke or completely destroyed the coffee maker in the half an hour she was away from the kitchen, trying to get up the stairs and take care of Mildred only to find that Larie was all over it, and made a shoddy looking replacement, most likely hoping that their parents would be too tired to notice the difference until they could find/build a more believable replacement.

She sighed, it was seven thirty am and she and Larie were going to be late if they had to stop for coffee on the way to work and dropping the younger ones off at daycare, so she quickly decided to just try it out.

To her surprise and delight, it worked perfectly and much faster then the one that had been there a half an hour ago.

She quickly poured two to-go cups and began making them to her and Larie's liking, spotting her sons' look of relief from the corner of her eye.

"You would need to get your father and I up a lot earlier then this for either of us to believe that this is the same coffee maker that I left here a half an hour ago." She told them coolly as she turned to look at them.

They hung their heads in defeat and looked up at her, silently begging for mercy.

"However," she said, a little twinkle in her eye, "I'm quite impressed that you three were able to make a working coffee maker to replace it in such a short period of time. I'm very proud of you three."

"So we're not in trouble?" Allbert asked her hopefully, Larry and Terry looking at her with wide, optimistic eyes.

She took a small sip from her cup

"No, you're not in trouble." She replied, then indicated their machine, "But once your father learns that you three made a machine that made better coffee faster in less then half an hour, he'll have a fit that we spent so much money on it in the first place."

.

**Daughter**

.

Larie nearly dropped the bat he had been holding and stared at the scene before him with his jaw dropped and his eyes wide.

A grown man hung upside down from a tree in his backyard, spider silk wrapped around his legs.

The man had been watching Ann change through their bedroom window, making her scream when she had discovered he had been peeping at her through the window. Larie had been furious and ready to pound the pervert into oblivion, but now he was ready to cry tears of pride and joy at the sight before him.

"We got him, Father." Mildred said, smiling proudly at the grown man she and her younger sister had captured as she twirled her two spider silk guns and blew on the ends as if she was a gun man from the wild west instead of a nine year old girl.

"Did we do good, Father?" Emma asked, her eyes bright with anticipation as she bounced on her toes like the adorable five year old she was, her spider silk guns in her dress pockets.

Larie felt tears well up in his eyes as he pulled his daughters into a warm embrace,

"Words cannot _describe_ how _**proud**_ I am of you two." He said, his voice thick with emotion as they happily hugged him back.

He then pulled away and held up the bat

"Shall we take the first hit together?" he asked them.

His daughters' eyes lit up with glee as they nodded eagerly, placing their hands on top of Larie's on the bat.

"Ready?"

"Ready Father!" they cried.

Larie gave them each a kiss on the top of the head before they got to work.

.

**Hair**

.

Mildred and Emma loved it when their mother would play with their hair when they were little

Her fingers were always gentle as they would thread through the strands of blue or black and she was always very careful when she came upon a knot and would manage to untie it without much trouble, their hair feeling like silk when it brushed against their necks and shoulders

She would hum a soft song to them as she worked or tell them funny stories from her childhood in a melodious voice

She would often dot their hair with flowers or sea shells or spider silk or cute little accessories that she would quickly assembled out of anything lying around

But they absolutely adored it when she would finish, she'd hold up a mirror to show them what she had done and always would give them a kiss on their foreheads and call them her little princesses and hug them tight.

So when she was getting ready for her and their father's 50th Anniversary party,

Mildred and Emma were happy to offer their assistance with _her_ hair.

.

**Story**

.

Allbert held a book of fairy tales to his chest, an excited smile curled up his cheeks,

Tonight he would read a bedtime story to Larry and Terry.

He had never done it before, normally it was his mother or father who read to them and Allbert was eager to tell his younger brothers a story all by himself.

He had picked out the perfect one, it wasn't too scary or romantic and had enough action to entertain, but not keep them awake either, he was so proud that he had thought of everything and was well prepared.

When it was finally bedtime he hopped onto his parents bed, where they waited for him with each of his little brothers in his parent's arms and a space between them for Allbert to settle in and read to them.

He quickly slipped in the spot his parents had left for him and eagerly opened the page to the story he had so carefully chosen

"Once upon a time…" he began, being careful not to talk too fast and rush through the story.

Then the lights went out, making his brothers start to cry and Allbert yelp.

Once Larry and Terry were calm once more, Allbert then realized that he couldn't read them their bedtime story in the dark.

He felt tears well up in his eyes as his lip quivered and he started to sniffle, he had been looking forward to this all day and now he couldn't tell them the story he had especially picked out for his brothers because the lights went out.

Then his father pulled out a flashlight from a drawer beside his bed, turned it on and held it over the book,

"Go on, All." He urged.

Allbert smiled gratefully at his father before continuing to read to them, his little brothers snoozing as he neared the end of the story. Allbert then soon fell asleep as well, smiling as he, Larry and Terry were happily held in a warm embrace by their parents as, they too, fell asleep.

The next day Larry and Terry both took their first steps towards a bookshelf and managed to pull a thin children's book from the shelf and walk over to their brother and hold it up to him, crying out their first word, "Allbert!" in unison.

.

**Babysitter**

.

Allbert looked at his parents with an angry pout on his face,

Ann and Larie were taking Larry and Terry to their first doctor's appointments and then running a few errands

Leaving him at home with a _babysitter_.

He frowned just thinking of the word, he wasn't a baby, he was _six_ for goodness sakes! He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself while his parents were away, thank you very much!

The doorbell rang and Ann went to answer it while Larie was latching his brothers into the duel baby carrier that they had gotten as a hand-me-down from his Aunt Anny and Uncle Tee.

Allbert grumbled under his breath, which was very unlike him, but being only six, he was allowed to be immature at times.

"Hey, All!" he heard a familiar voice call.

Allbert froze for a moment, then a smile curled up his cheeks as he turned to see…

"Luca!"

Allbert cried cheerfully as he raced over to give the fourteen year old a hug.

"Thank you again for agreeing to watch Allbert while we're out, Luca." Ann said. Luca smiled, "No problem, Ann, you and Larie take Larry and Terry and go, I've got All."

"We'll be back in a few hours." Larie informed the teen, "Call us if you need anything."

"Sure thing, Larie." He said with a nod.

"Bye Mother, bye Father!" Allbert said, now excited to have a babysitter around to play with.

.

**Secret**

.

Larie jabbed at his food with his fork

This _**sucked**_

Of course friggin' _Derek_ would be working at the same university as him

And of course at the dinner they had for the professors and instructors, they'd seat Larie, Ann and two week old Allbert at the same table as him, along with the other new teaching staff.

Larie stabbed at his food again as he hardly listened to Derek go on and on about his boring research that nobody really cared about and such, then he felt his wife's hand gently pat his shoulder and he perked up, hoping she would ask if they could leave.

"I need to use the restroom," she whispered sheepishly, "Could you take Allbert?"

Larie nodded, smiling as she gently placed his baby boy in his arms and smiled even wider when she gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek before excusing herself and getting up to the bathroom.

He cradled his child, beaming as he watched a small smile crawl up his sleeping son's face.

"But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Kanker?" Derek asked in a loud, taunting voice, waking the sleeping babe and making him start to cry.

Larie glared at him, "What the f… _heck_ is _**wrong**__ with you_?" he demanded as he rocked his son to calm him, "My kid was sleeping!"

"And you weren't listening to a word I said, talk about rude." Derek replied with a sneer, "And can you make your brat keep it down, I'm trying to have a conversation here." He said snidely, then motioned towards him as if to say, 'Can you believe this guy?'

Larie was ready to rip him into pieces, only for a fork to suddenly fly into Derek's hand.

The table was silent as they processed what had just happened for a moment before Derek began freaking out, Larie quickly turned to see where it had come from and his jaw to drop, his eyes bright with amusement.

"Lennard, what happened to your fork?" His mother-in-law asked her husband.

"Oh, I must have dropped it." he said nonchalantly, glancing over at Larie and winking. Larie gave him a smile and an appreciative nod as Ann returned to the table, looking concerned at their crying child and Derek running around like a chicken with his head cut off and shouting, holding his fork-hand in the air.

"What happened?" she asked him, grabbing Allbert's binky to help sooth their sobbing infant and gently slipped it into his mouth.

Larie shrugged,

"No idea."

.

**Fixed**

.

Larie and the kids looked at Ann, upset for her, as she crouched on the floor and, with shaking hands, gingerly up the pieces of her vase

It had been her grandmother's, and she had always admired it, even as a child, so when she learned that her grandmother had left it to her in her will as a wedding gift, and she had been touched and overjoyed by the gesture

And now it was shattered on the floor

She felt tears in her eyes as she slowly began picking up the bigger pieces and placing them into a dust pan to be thrown away.

While they had all been eating dinner, someone had thrown a rock that crashed through their window and smashed into the vase.

"I'll go catch that son of a…"

"Larie." She said, cutting him off, "It's fine, none of us were hurt and that's what's important."

"This is all our fault." Terry said, lowering his head in shame and guilt. Larry nodded solemnly in agreement, his head lowered as well, "We should just resign from that contest and…"

"You will do _no such thing_!" Ann said firmly, reeling around, "You two have worked _so hard_ to win that robot making contest and you are _**not**_ backing out because some… some..."

"Brute?" Allbert offered.

"Monster?" Mildred supplied.

"Poop head?" Emma guessed.

"_Dead man_." Larie growled.

"Some _bully_ threw a rock at the house!" she finished, then put down the pieces of the vase and gently cupped her twin boy's cheeks with her hands, "Don't you _dare_ give whoever did this the satisfaction of you two backing out of that contest because of this." She said, her eyes soft but firm, "Alright?"

"Yes Mother." They replied in unison, looking a little determined.

"Good." She said then went back to cleaning up the vase.

The next day, Ann looked over at the mantle and saw her vase was back in one piece, with a note beside it.

'Thank you, Mother for convincing us not to withdraw from the robotics contest.

Father, Allbert, Mildred and Emma helped us repair your vase as best we all could, at least until we get the prize money to get a professional to fix it.

And don't you worry,

we'll give whoever did this what's coming to them.

Love,

Larry & Terry'

.


	4. Words 4

**Aunt**

.

Fiona was nervous, she was bringing her girlfriend, Miranda, to her brother's house to meet her family for the first time, since her parents had pretty much disowned her after she came out, Lennard, Carla and their little girl Ann were all the family she had, and she was nervous about how they would feel about her bringing an actual woman home.

Even though her brother and his wife were fine with her being into women, she'd never brought one to meet them before.

She was particularly nervous about how little Ann would take it, she was only two and a half and it probably would be confusing for her that her aunt would be dating another woman, since they'd never really talked about it with her.

She rang the doorbell and tried to keep her nerves in check as her sister-in-law opened the door, wearing a nice green dress.

"Fiona! You're right on time!" Carla exclaimed cheerfully as she gave her a hug and ushered them inside and took their coats and put them in the closet. "And you must be Miranda, it's a pleasure to finally meet you!" she said, shaking her hand as Lennard walked into the room, wearing an ugly formal suit, and gave his sister a peck on the cheek and shook Miranda's hand, "Miranda, it's nice to finally see you in person."

Miranda laughed, "The feeling is mutual."

Little Ann ran up to them, wearing a cute little red dress, crying out, "Aunty Fi! Aunty Fi!"

Fiona pulled Ann into a big hug, then lifted her up to Miranda's eye level.

"Ann, this is my girlfriend, Miranda." She said in a soft voice.

Ann looked at Miranda for a moment, processing what her aunt had just said, then gave her a big, gap toothed smile and held out her hands for Miranda and started crying out, "Aunt Nanda! Aunt Nanda!"

Fiona turned crimson and Carla and Lennard apologized profusely, but Miranda laughed it off and scooped Ann up in her arms, "Well aren't you cute?" she said, tickling the toddler's belly and making her giggle.

Lennard leaned towards his sister, "You know, I think Ann might be on to something, Fiona." He whispered.

Fiona looked at Miranda still tickling Ann while Carla walked up to her and lead her into the living room to sit down and chat, she smiled, "I think you're right about that, Len." She agreed.

.

**Award**

.

Larie bounced a two week old Terry in his arms while Ann sat beside him, doing the same thing with Larry, Allbert on his other side, crossing his fingers with his grandmother.

"And the winner for Instructor of the Year goes to…" His father-in-law said.

Ann slipped her hand into Larie's and gave it a squeeze, silently wishing him luck.

Derek smirked cockily and pushed up from the table to stand, only to hear the award going to…

"Larie Kanker!"

Derek flopped back down into his seat while the other instructors clapped for him as he passed Terry to his mother-in-law and got up, Allbert bouncing in his seat excitedly, obviously pleased that his father had won.

Larie got up and accepted his award while shaking his father-in-law's hand.

When the award ceremony was over, he returned to his family and he and Ann began preparing to get their boys back into the car to go home, when Derek stomped up to them.

"Let me make this clear, _Kanker_." He hissed, "The only reason you got that award is because you're married to the dean's daughter!"

"My father got the award because, unlike you, he can teach and other people like him!" Allbert quickly replied, catching both Derek and his parents off guard.

Then Larie started to laugh, and Ann bit her lip to stifle a chuckle while he ruffled their oldest son's hair, "You tell 'um, buddy!" Larie cheered.

Derek scowled at them and stomped off in a huff.

Allbert looked up at his father, "You deserve that award, no matter what that buffoon says, Father." He said firmly.

"Indeed, Larie." Ann said, their twin boys sleeping in her arms, "We're very proud of you."

Larie smiled and lifted his eldest so he was sitting on his shoulders and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek.

His family being proud of him was the greatest award he'd ever receive.

.

**Pet**

.

Ann looked at the giant snake that was curled up by Emma's crib, where her youngest child was sleeping peacefully and totally unaware of the giant snake just a foot away from her.

"LARIE!" she screamed, fear and terror in her voice, making the snake look at her, almost as if it was annoyed. Emma woke up from the sound and began to bawl, the snake looked at the crying infant and slowly started to climb up the crib.

Ann ran towards the crib to snatch her baby out of the crib, only for the snake to bare it's fangs at her and block her way to her baby.

Larie, Allbert, Larry, Terry and Mildred ran into the room and saw why she had screamed.

Larie scowled at the snake and pulled his pocket knife out of his pocket, flicking the blade out and slowly walking up to it, when Larry and Terry cried, "WAIT, FATHER!"

The snake heard the boys' voices and then slowly moved towards them, Larie's grip on the knife tightened as he mentally readied himself to take out the snake that had slipped into his home and threatened his family.

"Please, Father! Don't kill Py!" Terry cried.

Ann and Larie looked at them, "Py?" they repeated in confused unison.

"It's short for Pythagorean, like the theorem?" Larry explained sheepishly.

"You _named_ it?" Allbert asked.

"Well, he _is_ **our** snake…" Terry said softly, not looking at them.

"WHERE IN THE SAM HILL DID YOU GET A GIANT, GREEN PYTHON!?" their mother demanded, then her eyes widened in comprehension as she recalled a story in the paper about a green python escaping from a local zoo, she put two and two together, "YOU STOLE A PYTHON!?" she cried angrily.

"They were going to kill him, Mother!" Larry cried, "He's only two, he has plenty of years in his life expectancy!"

"If they were going to put him down, they probably had a good reason." Larie said, not taking his eyes off the python who then turned back to Emma, who was still crying in her crib, Larie's eyes narrowed at it, daring it to go near his baby girl.

"The man who was supposed to be taking care of him abused him father, it was only natural that Py would bite him!" Larry said.

"Yeah, and it's not like he killed him, if he wanted to do that, he could've just wrapped around him and crushed him to death!" Terry added.

"Like he'll do to Emma?" Allbert snapped, pulling out his own pocket knife, Mildred nodded in agreement, her spider silk gun out and ready to save her sister.

"No!" the twins said in unison.

"He's really gentle!" Larry said.

"He wouldn't hurt a fly!" Terry explained.

At that moment, the large snake quickly slipped into Emma's crib and began ticking her belly with the tip of his tail, making her stop crying and start giggling, then he lifted her up with his tail and slithered out and held her up to Ann, who took her baby into her arms and covered her in kisses before holding her tight, she then looked at the snake and nervously held out her hand to it, only for it to nuzzle it.

The twins seemed relieved, "See, Mother?" they said in unison, "We told you he's gentle!"

Ann looked at the snake, unsure. Then Emma reached for the snake and petted it on it's scaly head, and gave it a kiss before hugging it. Larie and Allbert slipped their knifes back into their pockets and Mildred did the same with her gun as they all looked down at the giant snake, who Allbert and Mildred began petting too.

"So…"

"Can we keep him?"

.

**Flowers**

.

Larie looked down at the ruined flower bed and bit his lip,

This was really bad.

Ann had been so excited about having a house and a garden, and now that the wedding and honeymoon was over, she had been so excited to start on it.

He looked at the uprooted and crushed flowers, cursing himself for chasing that stupid squirrel after it had grabbed his USB with his resume on it that he was going to send out that day.

He hadn't meant to destroy the flower bed, he had only put on the cleats so he could crush the damn squirrel after he got his USB back, when he finally got it back, he realized the damage he had caused.

Ann was going to kill him.

Or worse.

Make him sleep on the couch.

He shivered at the thought and frantically tried to figure out how to fix it…

When Ann's van pulled into the driveway.

His heart sank at the sight.

He was _so __**dead!**_

She looked at him and then the mess that was her garden,

Only, she wasn't mad.

Actually, she looked pretty pleased with his work, she quickly hopped out of the van and gave him a big kiss on the lips, making him both confused, relieved and super happy.

"I can't believe you pulled out all the weeds and loosened up the dirt for me!" she snuggled her new husband, "This was so sweet and thoughtful, Larie! Thank you!"

Larie quickly decided to play it cool.

"Anything for you, Muffin."

.

**Jawbreakers**

.

Ann'd had them before, she had no idea why she and her new friends worked so hard to buy them when they could've simply asked their mothers to pick some up for them at the grocery store, not that her mom would buy them since they weren't exactly the healthiest thing in the world, but still…

Anny had the quarters jingling in her pocket as she ran, calling back for her and An to 'Hurry up! We're almost there!'

When they finally got to the candy shop, Ann was amazed by all the different sweets it had, she had never been in this store before and had to admit, it was really exciting.

She looked at all the different types of sweets, wondering which ones she should pick, when Anny came up to her with a large, white jawbreaker, one cheek larger and rounder then before telling her that both she and An already began eating theirs.

"Here, Double-N!" Anny said with a slurp, shoving it into her mouth. "Enjoy!"

Ann was surprised, the jawbreaker was much better then she thought it would be, it certainly was better then the ones she'd had before.

Was it because they had earned it? It certainly would explain why it was so satisfying, but she had a feeling that it wasn't just that though.

"They're better now that we are three, huh, Anny?" An asked cheerfully.

"You've got it, An!" Anny replied with a smile.

Ann felt a smile crawl up her cheeks as the truth of the wonderful taste dawned on her

They tasted so good because she was eating them with her best friends.

She started skipping with An and Anny, the three of them linking arms and happily slurping on the large candies.

Ann couldn't wait to go back and enjoy some more jawbreakers with them.

.

**Book**

.

Larie smiled as he watched her sitting in a comfy chair, reading a book with a heart on the front, in the back of the library,

She always looked so peaceful as she read those large, heavy looking books.

He loved watching her read,

He loved watching as she seemed to slip into her own little world when she read,

How she'd gasp or chuckle or how her eyes would widen when she was getting close to the end or the bittersweet sigh when she was reading a romance novel like she was now.

She sighed longingly as she finished the one in her hand and closed it. She held it close to her chest.

"I envy her." She said softly as she looked at the cover, "It must be nice to have a love like that."

She then let out another sigh as she got up from her chair and went to return the book to it's proper place, not noticing Larie as she did so and walked to another section to find another book to read.

He quickly dashed over and looked at the cover of the book his beloved had been reading;

'The Love Who's Name She Didn't Know'

He smiled as he stuck it back onto the shelf and saw her walk past the aisle, a new book in her arms.

He smirked and snuck after her, excited to remind her who he was.

.

**Clothes**

.

Ann looked at herself in the mirror and smiled,

She had been adamant to try on the clothes Anny had bought for her, but now she was glad that she had.

She admired the dress, which had a black skirt and a white top, the two tones separated by a black belt with a silver colored buckle, and the matching black jacket that ended at her navel and her elbows. She loved the black boots with the silver zippers going up the side.

Ann was now glad she had mentioned her speaking engagement with the pre-med students at the university to Anny. She felt confident and pretty and sure of herself in this outfit without looking too flashy or overdressed.

"Ann? You in here?" Larie called into their room, only to see his wife in her new clothes, she jumped at the sound of his voice and looked to see him narrow his eyes at the outfit and look her up and down, a thoughtful frown on his face.

"Oh, uh, Larie…" she said, suddenly feeling nervous as her husband scrutinized her clothes, "A-Anny bought me these clothes for my talk with the pre-med students." She said, rubbing her arm anxiously and feeling her body start to shake a bit from all the attention she was getting.

"Take it off."

Her eyes widened, a little hurt from the command, she glanced back at the mirror and looked at her reflection, "I thought I looked nice…" she said sadly.

Larie then hugged her from behind, his body shaking as he kissed her neck,

"You _do_, now take it off." he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"But…" then Ann felt something against her back and realized what he _really_ meant.

"Oh my." She said, her face crimson as he smirked at her and purred into her ear,

"Anny should buy you clothes more often."

.

**Grandma**

.

Carla hummed happily as she pulled some freshly baked cookies out of the oven,

She had been looking forward to this all week!

Then the doorbell rang and she nearly threw the tray of cookies out the open window, luckily they landed on the ledge where they would cool as she raced to the door, her husband jumping at the sound of the clattering tray.

She got to the door and quickly inspected her appearance in a nearby mirror, patting down a few stray hairs and wiping away some flour that had gotten on her clothes before finally opening the door.

"Ann! Larie! Allbert! It's lovely to see you all! Please, do come in!" she said sweetly as she ushered them inside.

Ann and Larie took their coats and walked over to the hall closet to put them away and chat with Lennard a bit while Carla put her hands on her five-year-old grandson's shoulders and inspected him head to toe, tears welling in her eyes, "You're getting so big!" she sobbed as she pulled the boy into a hug.

Allbert simply patted her on the back and said, "It's wonderful to see you too, Grandma," neglecting to inform her that he hadn't really grown all that much since the last time she had seen him, which was last week.

He smiled, although the crying could be trying, he really enjoyed his weekly visits to see his grandparents.

Carla wiped her eyes and took his hand, "Come into the kitchen, I made your favorite oatmeal raisin cookies so we could have a snack while you tell me all about what happened this week!"She said.

She loved spending time with her grandson, she didn't spend as much time as she had wanted with his mother, so it almost felt as if she was making up for lost time. She just wished she had a few more of them to adore too.

He brightened as he followed her into the kitchen and said, "Well, this week, Mother and Father said that the new little brother or sister I asked for is on their way!" he informed her, making her smile grow on her face.

Boy, did she love being a Grandma!


End file.
